My piece is called אשׁ חיים (Ay-sh Ḥi-yim) which means Fire of Life. This work is based on two Jewish metaphors about and describing the Torah (the Five Books of Moses). The combination of these two metaphors creates an image like that of the Biblical burning bush, representing the conflicting and sustaining relationship between these two ideas. The first is עץ חיים (Ay-tz Ḥi-yim) or Tree of Life. This comes off in the painting as an actual tree and in fact, these letters can be found in the tree's branches. This metaphor represents how Jews are nourished by Torah and for me, this symbolizes my deep connection to and desire for spirituality. The next phrase is אשׁ דת (Ay-sh Da-at) which means Fire of Law. For me, this speaks to both my conflict and struggle with Jewish law and tradition and even law as it is used in my wider life in the United States. At the same time, though, I am also fueled by my Jewish practices and am passionate in my observance of them. These letters can be found in the roots of the tree and are why the tree is on fire. The backdrop is meant to reflect the burning bush scene with a desert floor and a cloudless sky. This scene is also related as it is a time when Moses is made aware of G-d's presence and it is a powerful, spiritual revelation that is fraught with fear and obligation.
This relates to me as I often feel in a strong connection with G-d but our relationship is frequently filled with conflict. With all the suffering I have seen and felt how can I not be angry with G-d for letting that happen? An example of this is the shooting at the Tree of Life Synagogue, which is part of what inspired this piece in the first place.
It might now become apparent that the title of this piece is a combination of these two metaphors and also a bit of a pun as אשׁ חיים sounds a lot like עץ חיים. This title also relates to what my experiences these past few months have been, a trial by fire so to speak. Every day brings new challenges I need to face. Staying strong in the face of such fire is difficult, but if given the right perspective, I can occasionally turn it into a source of power. In this way, my progress through my piece ties back to the theme of metamorphisms as it has been a process of emotional evolution. From all these trials and tribulations, I think I have become stronger and, more importantly, I am more aware of where I started in terms of my growth.
There is, additionally, a non-painted element. Wrapped around the canvas is dyed paper, to give it a parchment-like appearance. Cut from the middle of the parchment is a tinfoil heart. This hearkens back to a story in the Talmud (a major work of Jewish text, law, and history) where the Romans murdered Rabbi Haninah ben Teradion. They did this by wrapping him in a Torah scroll and setting him on fire with a piece of wool over his heart so he would die slowly. This story relates to this piece as it evokes my fears of growing antisemitism in the United States, since Trump's election, and my general feelings of not being safe. At the same time, it also shows the strength of faith that stands up to adversity no matter the cost. I also feel that even with growing hatred against Jews that I can't and won't give up my culture. The heart, made out of metal instead of wool, shows this resolve but also its fragility as life's hardships are unpredictable and I am unsure how I will respond until that time comes. I chose these materials as they are all challenging for me and really assume the role of a "trial by fire" but also that, like a tree, I will grow and become more acquainted with them through this process.
Additionally, making dyed paper reminds me of my time working at Christopher's Haven, an internship that I was in love with that was cut short but the spread of the pandemic. This was my first true step into both play and art therapy with patients. With these children, I conducted several large-scale art projects including making 3D dioramas, dying paper, and creating large cardboard structures such as a ticket booth. The clients at Christopher's Haven are youths being treated for cancer at Mass General Hospital and their families. These children and their siblings, therefore, needed a lot of attention and help to find ways to just be kids. Helping them express themselves creatively and engaging with them in a multitude of role-playing games, art, and board games helped them experience some sense of normalcy. In this way I was able to experience the healing power of play and the arts firsthand and how I had contributed to it. Creating these pieces with the children expanded my process. They were extremely creative and would make suggestions and connections that never occurred to me and this has helped me develop further perspectives in my future work.
